Once I was a Lizard
by viablesangre
Summary: Harry recives an old book of his father's as a gift. he finds it full of his notes and pranks he had been planning. Harry tries one with a bit of a problem arising, and will Snape forgive him for biting him on the nose?and i'm updating!
1. chapter one!

Harry Potter was thrust back in to number 4 Privet Drive for yet another summer. Heat had been somewhat lessened by the air-conditioner that Vernon Dursley had bought. They hadn't been able to exclude Harry's room because the people that installed the cooling system had given them very curious looks when they had asked if his room could be excluded for a reduced price. Harry guessed the worker saw his face when he overheard he was going to fry while the Dursleys were going to stay cool. The worker had charged them extra for excluding his room. Harry was secretly joyful at seeing Vernon's outrage.

Harry was currently enjoying the air-conditioned room during the hottest part of the day. Hedwig was also enjoying the air, fluffing her feathers to get the cool air near her body. Harry had begun to doze when he noticed that a sharp rapping was coming from his window. It was a large, great- horned owl. Harry was puzzled. He had already gotten mail today from Hermione and Ron. He opened his window and let the owl in. It had to squeeze in because of the re-installed bars on the window.

It looked tired and overheated.

"Um… here have some water."

Harry placed Hedwig's water dish near the great-horned owl and it drank greedily. When it had had it's fill it held out it's leg. The leg had a tiny brown-wrapped package with a note attached to it, which read: "Tap three times with your wand." Curious, Harry almost couldn't wait to see what it was. He untied the package revealing a tiny book. He tapped it three times and it grew, the cover reading in bold gold letters **Animagus Answers to Animagus Questions**. Harry flipped the book open to see a tidy note written inside.

_Dear Harry, I know this summer hasn't been easy for you, God knows it hasn't been for me, but I wanted to give you this book because it's the same book that James, your father, and Sirius used to become Animagi. It has all their notes in it to help you if you want to become one and I'm sure it'll hold some special value for you since it was your Dad's and Sirius's. Keep your nose clean and try to stay calm this time! _

_PS you didn't get it from me!_

_With love,_

_Remus "Moony" Lupin_

Tears sprang to Harry's eyes. Remembering Sirius's death was hard. He might have learned a great deal about how much of a jerk he was in his youth, but he was still his godfather. Sighing, Harry turned a bunch of pages to see a highlighted spell. In the margin next to it, in an untidy scrawl, was a note:

_"Hey Padfoot! We have got to try this one on Snivellus! Bet he'd be a great ugly toad for weeks!"_

It was a temporary spell to turn either the user, or in that case victim, into one animal that could be their Animagus form. The spell seemed to wear off only when they figured out how to turn or intentionally transformed back into people. It even worked on those who already were Animagi. Harry guessed this was to satisfy one's curiosity at what else they could have transform into. It was a pretty tricky spell. Harry guessed it was time to read up.

Harry was already on the Hogwarts Express, waiting for his companions. He was itching to try one of the spells in the book. Once he'd read the book about five times, he was sure he could become an Animagus in a month. He also wanted to try the temporary spell he found the first day he got the book, mainly because he wanted to see the possibilities of animals he could transform into. I just hope I don't turn into a snake! That's the last thing I need, he thought. It was only a few minutes after he'd finished reading that Hermione and Ron turned up.

"Harry are you feeling alright?" asked Hermione. Concern was in her voice as she sat down and took his hands in hers.

"What are you about Hermione?"

"Harry you're studying! That's concern enough!"

"Yeah mate, are you feeling alright?" asked the red-headed Ronald Weasley. He was currently looking at Harry as if he had learned that he had only 48 hours to live.

"It's not like it's **Most Potent Potions** OR **Lessons in Transfiguration: YEAR 6**! I'm not going that far off my rocker."

"Well then what is it? Something on Quidditch or Defense against the Dark arts?" Hermione asked almost in a disappointed sigh as she plopped down in the seat across from Harry.

"Gee Hermione, don't sound so relieved! Besides, I studied this summer. I hid my books. This book was a present." Harry had shut the book to show the cover.

"Harry, where did you get that? That has got to be the greatest gift! Even better than your Firebolt! Well …maybe not THAT great, but it's up there!" Ron's voice was, to say the least, filled with awe.

Hermione at this point looked at the book and squealed "Oh Harry! Please can I borrow it? I swear I won't mess it up or keep it forever! Please!" She threw herself across and sat on Ron's lap to see the book better. Ron, now finding his lap covered in Hermione did the only thing Ron did best. He blushed a scarlet that even Uncle Vernon would approve of.

Harry laughed at Ron's now tender face and said, "Sure Hermione, but I want to try one spell first. I want to see what is one possibility of my Animagus form. I'll try it right after the feast and then you can read to your little heart's content. Alright?"

"Deal!"

End of part 1


	2. Chapter2!

Chapter 2

Finally, the Welcoming Feast was over! Harry had been bored to death waiting for a chance to try out the Animagus spell. He had not had a chance to try the spell until after his birthday and he was back at school. Now he was back and more than ready to try it.

The golden trio ran up the stairs ahead of the first years. Barely saying an intelligible password to the portrait of the Fat Lady they blazed through the common room to the boys' dorm. So far, nobody was there…yet.

"Ok! Let's try this now!" Harry was excited. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"I'm really interested in this spell! It should actually be classified as a dark spell, level 1! I wonder why it has eluded the Ministry?" Hermione nearly gushed. She was brewing up a research project in her brain now, which meant she'd spend at least a month with Harry's book.

Meanwhile Harry unlocked his trunk and fished out the book but before he could place it on the floor, it was plucked out of his hands by Hermione. She had already prepared her notebooks and quills on Ron's bed to begin taking proper notes.

"Wait, I want to do it!" Ron pulled his wand out of his robe and grabbed the book from Hermione. "Besides, you can't cast the spell on yourself Harry." He started reading the spell while practicing the right wand movements.

"I don't know Ron, I have been studying that book all summer. Do you think you'll be able to do it with just a read through?" Harry was hesitant to try the spell now. Ron was his best friend but heaven and hell knew Ron was a wild card when it came to spell work.

Ron indignantly straightened his back and huffed "Of course I can! I got a E in Transfiguration last year!" This was quite the accomplishment to Ron.

"Ok Ron, It's just that well I have to … well stay on guard for anything. And it's not that I think you'll do something to me." Harry had never, for one reason or another, seen Ron perform a spell correctly on the first go.

"Fine mate." Hermione snatched the book back from Ron and flipped it open to where the spell was marked.

"He has a point Harry. You can't do this one on yourself. See, look paragraph four." she read:

_"Be warned that self application can cause serious harm, thusly in the year 1920 after a young witch by the name of Victoria Wade attempted this spell on herself and became the first centaur ever created by _

_spell and not a herd. This spell was put under inquiry and has beenlabeled a spell that should only be done by wizards and witches that have at least 3 years of training. To do other wise is considered a breakage in the reasonable restriction of underage wizardry. Only on one occasion when breakage of this rule was permitted with out further punishment in the year 1972, the case of Robert Timmings who died when only his organs changed and not his body." _

"That sounds awful! Harry maybe you should let Ron do it. I mean you can cast it on him after you try it out." She finished, still holding the book in her arms.

Harry pulled a face. "I think it's a good idea too... Uh don't you think Ron?" Harry saw Ron's face a little pink so he added, "It'd be great to see what you'd be! Ron Weasley the eagle!" Ron's face brightened at that.

"Ok! Come on let's go then!" Both of them got up and faced each other.

Ron took a breath and said, "Ok Harry, Ready."

He pointed his wand at Harry and made like he was saluting him with his wand, then pointing it at Harry's heart he said, "_Animales Expecto_." A blue light shot out of Ron's wand, hitting Harry square in the chest and Harry went poof! On the floor where Harry had been standing was nothing but a pile of clothes.

"OH MY GOD RON! WHAT DID YOU DO?" yelled Hermione. "WHERE IS HE!"

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD OHMYGOD!" Ron was pale faced and trembling.

Hermione meanwhile was frantically searching the book for possible answers. Ron, who was now staring stupidly at Harry's clothes, thought he might be going mad. He saw Harry's clothes move.

"H…Hermione? I think A PIECE of Harry is still there."

"What?" She looked up at Ron and then at Harry's clothes. They were moving madly now and a VERY mad, hissing noise was coming from them. She walked over to the pile of clothes. She gently prodded the clothes and lifted half the pile. The hissing that had begun to subside flared anew. Ron went a shade paler and pointed to the hem of Harry's shirt.

Hermione looked and saw a large, yellowish brown lizard with a beard full of spikes hissing and puffing itself up. The lizard was furious! His claws dug into the fabric and began climbing the shirt to get to Hermione, who reacted girlishly screaming and dropping the shirt and lizard.

It hissed when it hit the floor.

"Harry? Is THAT you?" she stammered. The lizard freed itself of all the clothes and walked along the floor in front of Ron and Hermione, nodding it's head once.

end of chapter 2


	3. chapter 3!

chapter 3

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS! WHERE AM I?" A white cloth surrounded Harry and it was pressing against him, almost choking him. He began thrasing against it, trying to free himself from it when he noticed a clawed foot.

"Damn it! I'd better not be some damn reptile!" He started to scream and yell " HELP ME! WHERE THE HELL AM I?" All of a sudden he was being lifted and he saw light. He saw a pale Ron and what looked like...was that Hermione's knee? Then he was dropped and a bloody awful scream rang in his ears. After stumbling out and eyeing his friends darkness over took him.

"Good morning mate! How ya feeling?" Ron sounded disgustingly cheerful to Harry's hazy morning mind.

"Hey Ron I had the weirdest dream that... ha, your not going to believe this, but I was a lizard you see and-" The expression on Ron's face was somewhere between bemused and smiling.

"Harry I don't speak lizard." Ron whispered " Hermione and I are going to see Professor McGonagall after breakfast. She'll fix you up in no time."

Then it had all been true? Ron stretched and began to dress himself in his school robes. Harry found himself on Ron's pillow, not remembering anything after he had nodded to Ron and Hermione.

"You fell dead asleep afterwards. 'Mione said that maybe it was shock or something. Come on then." He picked Harry up and placed him on his shoulder, mumbling " just hang on". And then finishing up, Ron, with Harry on his shoulder, walked down into the common room.

Hermione was currently sitting on one of the many poufs in the corner of the common room. Her nose was buried in Harry's book, more than likely looking for a solution.

"Hey 'Mione, You coming?"

Hermione slapped the book shut and huffed across the room and made her way directly toward the portrait door.

"Come on now 'Mione, what's wrong?"

"I'll tell what's wrong! I did research on that spell and since the last time it was used, it's been labeled a hex! Since this book is fairly old, it's information about legal and illegal spells is wrong!" She said this to Ron in a angry rush, took a calming breath and continued, "we're going directly Professor McGonagall to sort this mess out."

"But 'Mione can't we get some breakfast first?" Seeing the furious look on Hermione's face he added, "Come on! If I'm going to get in trouble I might as well have a meal before I do! Besides, Harry's got to be hungry too! He spent the WHOLE summer at the Dursleys' and he hardly ate anything on the train."

At this Harry had to agree so he began to nod his head as fast as he could. He could feel his lizard belly move and grumble, and, to say the least, it wasn't pleasant.

"Fine, but make it quick!" and with that, she stormed out of the portrait doorway with Ron right behind her.

The way to the Great Hall was as quick as anyone could have made it. It felt like no time at all had passed, which to Harry was a Godsend. "Food!" was his only thought, which was strange to him. He usually never felt like stuffing his face but, being a lizard was hard work! Harry was ready to hiss at Ron to hurry up, but his message was cut short by none other than Draco Malfoy.

"Good Morning Weasel. Why's your Mudblood girlfriend in such a knot?"

Malfoy was circling Ron like a vulture, but strangely without his hulking goons. Not that Ron noticed anything amiss, Malfoy was baiting him and he was going to bite.

"My! What's this, you've got a new pet? Tell me, did your dear mummy buy if for you or did you get it second hand like everything else you get?" and with that he plucked Harry right off Ron's shoulder.

"Shut it Malfoy! Give him back!" Ron made a wild grab for Malfoy and Hermione FINALLY sprung into action. She made a close swipe at Malfoy's face.

"You should keep your mudblood claws to yourself Granger!" Ron at hearing this, nearly hit Malfoy's block off.

The Great Hall was a flurry of students trying to see what was happening. Malfoy stepped back from Ron's attempts to kill him and began to stroke Harry's lizard-y head. Harry responded by trying to bite Malfoy's fingers, which earned him a shove into Malfoy's pocket. Malfoy knew he was on thin ice when Professor McGonagall shoved through the thick mass of students.

"Later weasel" he, said, giving Ron a hard shove. "Granger," giving Hermione a little wink and pressing himself out of the Great Hall, he headed to the dungeons.

A few minutes later Harry managed to get his claws free of the fabric of Malfoy's jumper and stuck his head out of his pocket.

"Oh my God, he's heading for his common room!" Harry thought for sure that this spelt his doom! So he did what any creature with a half working brain would do and leapt out of Malfoy's pocket, ran down the hall, ran under the nearest door, and hid near a desk.

"NO ALBUS! I will not have myself exposed to that arrogant showoff again!"

"Severus, I don't think Harry is at all what you say he is. He needs guidance and someone to understand him."

"As if he doesn't have that already? He refuses to listen! Even for his own good! Why should I bend to him? If he was half the person you paint him to be Albus, he'd at least have some notable amount of respect!"

"Why did you stop the Occlumency lessons? I trusted you to teach him so that I might be able to look him the face when I needed to speak with him."

"He NEVER tried! He had other more important things to do than learn from me! What did he care if I'm a 'Brilliant Occlumens' or that I spared him from revealing where the Order was hiding and many of the other things I've done over the years! He only acknowledges what YOU'VE done! Even when you didn't even trust him enough to look him in the bloody eye!" Severus Snape was near screaming now. He was as pale as Harry remembered seeing when he looked into the pensive. "He never trusted me and I NEVER wanted to have that duty placed upon me."

"I think your being unfair and childish Severus, just because he was a bit curious-"

"His curiosity cost me a great deal Albus!" Snape's voice had returned to a cold, deadpanned whisper. "He is ever your favorite son! Are you afraid he'll end up like me? Your failed experiment?" He was in a cold fury. Harry could now plainly see that. "James, of course! Your pride and joy! You always favored him, and let's not forget Sirius! Oh no! Ever the prankster, but in the end, as selfish as ever!"

"He gave HIS life to protect Harry!"

"Harry never asked for his life! He could of held out and stayed behind! But no! A chance to escape and for a good cause!"

A cold draft filled the room. Dumbledore stood very straight, as if age and weakness had fled him like leaves in the wind. In a cold voice he said, "Do you recall a conversation we had in my office no more than sixteen years ago?"

Snape seemed to have lost his dignified posture and said in a dead voice "Yes, sir."

"You went down on your knees and told me you would do whatever it took, for the rest of your life, to assist the light side and atone for your sins. Have you reconsidered that promise, Severus?"

"No never I'd j-"

"Then you are never to speak to me again in that tone of voice young man." Dumbledore face softened and he embraced a trembling Snape. He was trembling! Dear God in heaven! The world was ending. He was acting almost...human. Some of the hatred Harry had been harboring since Sirius's death seemed to have been muted. This creature that was Professor Snape seemed to have a human core, he couldn't be all bad...maybe.

"I'm sorry, that was cruel. You really are like my son. I have always been proud of you, my boy, but I truly feel if you would just try to get on better terms with Harry you'd both be happier." The Headmaster held Snape by the shoulders now. Professor Snape had never looked so UN-Snapish.

"Happiness has nothing to do with this Albus."

"I hope you understand now how I couldn't have expelled Sirius, Remus and James. Your happiness does have to do with this."

"Yes, I know. They would have been either killed or turned, but it still wasn't fair. Better me than them. Right Albus?" Some of his previous resentment tainted Snape's voice. He ignored Dumbledore's last sentence.

"Severus," Dumbledore said in a sigh, "forgive me already."

"I have, but it still hurts."

"Lemon drop, Severus?" Harry near keeled over when Professor Snape's face broke into a grin.

"Any toffee?" Dumbledore fished in his pockets and pulled out a whole bag of Honeydukes' Perfectly Penny Pralines.

"Will these do?" Dumbledore smiled and Snape snatched the bag and popped it open.

"I hate you, Albus." He said as he plunked a candy into his mouth. Dumbledore gave him a slight hug and laughed.

" I love you too my boy," then he left.

Snape was left to chew his candy and begin to gather various plants and jars, for what Harry thought was a potion. Harry thought he must be hallucinating. None of it seemed real. Maybe it was just hunger mixed with lizard vision.

end of chapter 3

(PSST...review!WooHoo! three chapters in two days!)


	4. Chapter 4! Who Nose!

chapter 4

( just so you all know for severus's pet

TEXT weepy head

TEXT pleasant head

TEXT >dominate head)

Harry's shock and fear was fading away. After Dumbledore shut the door, he decided to look around this little workshop of horrors that was Snape's room. Harry stuck his head out from under the desk and looked up and down the room. It was more of a lab area than anything else, which lead to a kind of sitting area. This must be Snape's private rooms'. It's not nearly as scary as his office. The dead slimy things were restricted to lab area and a great deal more dried herbs and plants hanging from the walls. I have to get outta here! Harry began to scramble out from under the desk and head straight for the door. He nearly reached the door when Harry felt himself being plucked off the floor.

"And here I thought I used all of these up." Harry was now facing a very large Professor Snape and an even larger nose. Harry's mind flashed with all the possibilities of lizards in potions and he felt a horrible knot in his lizard belly. He squeezed his eyes shut and felt the professor move. Great I'm going straight into a cauldron! He felt himself being released and falling. The Boy Who Lived, Savior of the wizarding world, being used for a potion ingredient.

"Stop being so mellow dramatic." The familiar sneer was back "I'm tired of this! All of this, these brats losing their pets! Albus with the same rusty blade in my chest all of it!" Harry fell into a cold glass jar with the vented lid being screwed on. Harry began to scramble all around the inside of the jar. It looked clear but why wasn't he fleeing like he was supposed to? OH yeah! Duh Harry! Glass jar! Oh well at least he wasn't dead. Snape was now walking to his sitting room and placed Harry under a nice warm light next to a huge tank. It felt nice and cozy! " Just need to focus and all will be settled, right Diana?" Harry looked up and saw Snape lifting the lid to the tank and reaching inside. The head's of an unusually colored Runespore serpent1 slunk out of the corner of the tank came to meet his hand. Snape ran his long fingers over the back of each green and venomous orange head and all shut their eyes in bliss.

Of course master

Brown noser! Sure my buddy

Your both fools by my account...hmmmm >

Harry was shocked. Each head had it's own say of things, but it acting like some kind of weird kitten. "Be nice to your guest, it won't be here long. That first year never was truly convinced that the rat I turned in to her was the same."

Then she shouldn't of let it wander off! >

It was tasty though!

But that poor girl! The left head, the one nearest Harry, seemed to have a trembling pout on his face she knew that wasn't Snickers!

Snape had replaced the lid and walked to his ingredients. It wasn't long before a mind dulling smell wafted in the room

Don't be a Baby! By the heavens you're weak! > The left head sobbed something that sounded like 'your mean!'

Lighten up! Snickers was great and Diana made sure it was ok to munch!

"Uh, sorry but…" Harry wasn't sure what to say 'Diana' but his curiosity was flaring to know more about the Dark Wizard's pet. "how long have you been with…um…Snape?"

Who's that? >

I dunno.

Maybe he speaks of Master

Suck up. >

Am not!

That man's never been much fun! >

The left head looked sadly at Harry and sighed Near 18 years now… I miss the outside, and Mama. She had only one head you know...

You're not the only one that misses freedom! One day my plan to escape will spring into action! >The center head declared.

You're both daft. Sevy here keeps us fat and happy! He just doesn't play with us like he used too the far right head spoke to Harry in a very pleasant voice, for a snake, He jerked his head toward the center head All cause of her too! The center head huffed like Hermione and turned her nose up at the right head.

" Are you all Male? Or are you an it or something?" this was the wrong thing to say apparently. All three heads whipped around to glare at Harry with UN mitigated fury!

Then in a new voice of all three heads speaking at once it ground out " HOW RUDE! HOW DARE YOU ASK SUCH A QUESTION! I AM THE ITPITOME OF BEAUTY AND GRACE OF ALL SERPENTS! I AM NOT A KING WITH BALEFUL EYES NOR AM I A HARMLESS RIBBON OF A SERPENT! YOU VILE LITTLE LIZARD!" And with that the great serpent struck the side of its tank to try and get at terrified Harry. The Serpent known as Diana was openly weeping now. Furious that such a rude lizard dared say such a thing. She would have her revenge!

"Damn it! Diana STOP!" Severus Snape to the rescue. He grabbed a small bottle from out of the inside of his robes and tore the stopper out of it and up turned the whole bottle over Diana. Magical Serpent or no, a snake can't keep fighting if drenched in alcohol. She clamed down and Snape picked her up wiped the alcohol off her scales. " Stop it, you've always been perfect to me." The snake was acting like a two year old after a really bad temper tantrum. Pointing its tail at Harry's jar it began to hiss separately again.

One head stayed turned to Harry and hissed you're just an instigator! 

It's not our fault Diana got mixed up with us!

The Left head buried his head in Snape's Robes and sobbed I HATE being upset! (Sob)

Diana turned to Snape and now pointing it's tail frantically at Harry hissed It's HIS fault Sev! HIS! >

After Diana clamed down Snape replaced her in her tank and put the lid on. With a fast swipe of Snape's hand, Harry found himself traveling much to fast to be safe. The lid of the jar was suddenly not in its place and Harry froze in fear of the giant hand coming towards him. Harry tried to escape out of the bottom of the jar again, but that only exposed his tail, which was promptly grabbed by Snape's pinching fingers.

"What did you do to my Snake?" Harry was now face to face with the angry glare of Severus Snape.

Harry didn't know what to do! All he knew is that fear and desperation made his body move without his mind and he flipped himself out of those torturous fingers and hit hard on Snape's face. Harry realized he was falling and snapped his jaws shut on the first thing that got near his mouth. Harry didn't even realize he had shut his eyes until he heard the yell of pain coming from Snape. He wrenched his eyes open to see what he was biting down so hard on only to nearly choke on the sight. Tears of pain were welling in Snape's eyes as Harry saw that it was his nose that he bit on to! The shock of being bitten by a lizard seemed to be fading cause Severus Snape blinked away the tears and seemed to want to gently get Harry off his nose. Snape tugged and tried to bribe Harry off of his nose with what looked like a caterpillar, but Harry held on. The faintest idea as to way he held on, Harry couldn't say his jaws were just stuck.

"OK! If I promise not to kill you will you let go?" Severus's voice sounded like he had a stuffed up nose, which made Harry laugh. It sounded like a sneeze, to which Snape grimaced at. Eww, lizard germs "I swear on my miserly black heart!"

'Ok I know I can't let go! He'll feed me to the hypersensitive snake thing, like he did Snickers the rat. I reckon I'll wait it out for a while and see what he'll do next'

"this must be one of the first years pets, I'll just go and interrogate all of them" an unpleasant smile curled Severus's mouth. "Then well see if you can escape you damned lizard" Snape stood his robes swirling impressively and he gracefully walked to his cauldron and swished the flames out. "It seems Lupin will have to wait another day before I test this on him." Snape muttered to himself while toss away the ruined mess.

'does he practice that? Test it on him? What the hell is he talking about? Damn snarky professors with emotion issues.'

_Meanwhile the dynamic duo…_

"Follow me to my office! And if I hear some much as a whisper out of either one of you, you'll both have detention with Professor Snape!" Professor McGonagall in a fine mood!

"But professor! Malfoy-" Hermione cut in as soon as she could. She had to save Harry! She was sure Professor McGonagall would listen to her. Unfortunately Professor McGonagall had another idea. She spun on her heel and faced both teens abruptly, a look of livid fury on her stern face.

"Miss Granger! I believe I told you to hold your tongue! I've never been more-arh! Just follow me!" so they followed the vexed professor to her lair.

After what seemed like forever they reached McGonagall's office. She walked behind he desk and sat ramrod straight in her chair and glared at Ron and Hermione to do the same.

"I want the two of you to know I'm every disappointed in both of you! Mr. Potter and I have already had this discussion-" she seemed to have finally realized that Mr. Potter wasn't there. "Where is Mr. Potter? I was under the impression that the three of you never part company."

"That's what we've been trying to tell you! Malfoy kidnapped Harry and is holding him hostage in the Slytherin common room!" Ron jumped to his feet and his voice broke mid sentence. Professor McGonagall's severe face looked odd with both her eyebrows near her hairline.

"And how was Mr. Malfoy able to kidnap Potter in the middle of breakfast in the great hall? Did he hide him in his pocket?"

"Exactly!" Hermione jumped to her feet too. An awful idea jumped to her mind "You see Professor, Malfoy used the animales expecto hex on Harry and we were going to talk to you to help Harry become human again, but Malfoy grabbed him in the Great Hall before we got to you. We were trying to save him!"

Minerva McGonagall had never heard of a wilder story, but Malfoy did leave the scene quickly after she went to break up the row. He did have as much fault as her own students, and since Severus wasn't there there's no way he'd be able to stop her from giving and cowardly boy what he deserved. So she stood up and walked briskly toward the door. "Well what are you waiting for? We are going to find if there is truth to this cock and bull story of yours." Both Ron and Hermione started in motion and followed their bemused professor toward the dungeons.

_Down in Slytherin, were only the truly daft enter…_

Draco was ready to gloat to the rest of his little Slytherin following. Since his father ran in high circles, he was well respected and feared; no matter whose circles he ran in. That feeling of power is what Draco always remembered as a child and now he wanted it. He patted his jumper pocket and felt …nothing! Where was that damned lizard? Oh well, he'd just accio the damn thing to him, but was the damn thing in the common room or in the dorms, where he was now, hell, it might even be in the corridor

'Damn, I hate it when a plan fails to come together!' Draco huffed and raised his wand ready to accio weasel's lizard when he heard the un-mistakable sound of his head of house's voice.

"Whose vile lizard is this? It has been my understanding that only cats, toads or owls are allowed in this school and not anyone's special little pets!" Severus's deadly purr sounded hilarious with his nose clapped shut with the lizard. Harry laughed again and made Severus's face grimace in disgust.

'What is it with everyone thinking I'm vile? I'm a clean lizard.'

"I want everyone in here immediately! I want this lizard off my person now!" Snape barked his order and Draco had no choice but to go into the common room.

'Please don't let it be weasel's lizard!' he walked into the common room and mentally slapped himself what gods did I piss off? He's not going to ignore this one.' Mentally sighing he walked into place between Crabbe and Goyle, never losing his mask of Malfoy superiority.

Severus's glare fell like a bucket of cold water on his new first years. Some of his older student knew this was just to weed out the guilty party. If there was one thing Slytherins didn't get away with, it was making a fool out of their head of house. Severus knew he was close, most quailed under his gaze; expect Draco Malfoy to disappoint him. He was guilty. His face was usually more relaxed with his head of house, there was less posturing, now his face held the usual Malfoy swagger that Severus hated about his father. Yes he knew who was responsible now.

"Mr. Malfoy would you remove your lizard from my face?" Shock was written in Malfoy's eyes "Well what are you waiting for? A written invitation? Now Malfoy!" Snape barked at him. Malfoy jumped and gently grabbed Harry's body and pulled lightly. He wasn't budging.

"Please lizard? Please!" Malfoy whispered then he gently brushed his index finger right under Harry's jaw. It felt weird and Harry's jaws loosened their hold on Severus's nose.

"Severus, Mister Malfoy! I would like to have a word with both of you!" McGonagall made her entrance with a bang by tossing the Slytherin common room door wide open with her wand. "Now, if you please."

"Malfoy. Minerva. Follow me." Snape Turned, his robes effectively distracted from his bright red nose. 'Thank God Lizards have weird teeth! I would hate to look anything like Mad eye.'

"And bring that lizard Mr. Malfoy." And with that both professor swished out of the room followed my four teenagers.

1 Runespore serpents are notorious for eating there own eggs, seeing as it each has three different heads the other two wouldn't know that the eggs were it's own and eat them, to eliminate this problem Voldemort tried cross breeding Runespores with a non venomous constrictor (mainly for size compatibility) unfortunately for Diana's mother it worked but the young instead of being all male or all female ended up being mixed, thus unable to have more snakes. Voldemort ordered the (half breed filth) to be killed. Sev, being the nice guy that he is, saved Diana. Voldemort later used the serpents as an example of how Half-breed snakes are like Half-blooded wizards. The jerk.

(I dedicate this chapter to my first reviewer! You Rock! On ice even!)


	5. chapter 5!

Chapter 5!

"What was the meaning of that Minerva?" Severus Snape's face held an unhappy sneer.

"I don't take well to you blatant undermining of my authority." Severus's robes flicked as he walked into his cold and unwelcoming office. The dead creatures in his many jars and vials seemed to blink at his entrance and shrink away as he set a blazing fire in the empty grate of his fireplace. No, this wasn't where Severus wanted anyone to feel welcome.

McGonagall frowned she knew that tone all to well.

"I have reason to believe that Mister Malfoy stole something from Mister Weasley. I am here to retrieve his property and see if their other story has any truth in it."

Severus raised an eyebrow at her last statement. "And what is dear Mister Weasley and Miss Granger's other story?" he purred, his nose a now much less intense red. Harry laughed again in Malfoy's hands. The look of disgust on Malfoy's face made Harry laugh harder. "That lizard is going to die. It's been sneezing all day." Snape muttered, having been on the nose end of many of those sneezes.

Ron's face visibly paled at Snape's muttered remark Harry's health, Hermione on the other hand looked irritated. McGonagall noted both expressions and held an open hand out to Malfoy "the lizard please." She intoned a direct order in her few words, to which Malfoy immediately complied. The lizard in question was brownish green with spikes at its throat and a wide mouth, not at all what she imagined Harry's Animagus form, but then that hex was notorious for being inaccurate. "Mr. Potter? If you don't mind, I'm going to remove you from this state now." At hearing this two thoughts ran through Harry's head: Yay! I'm free of the lizard body! And (expletive!) I'm Starkers! So he jumped out of McGonagall's open hand, landing on the cold dungeon floor and ran under some fabric. He really didn't see where it was but he needed something to hide in. n , Unfortunately McGonagall's wand was too fast and she cast the spell anyway.

There was a loud "POP!" and a puff of blue smoke. The sound of ripping fabric and a now very much human 'boy who lived', Harry had ripped Professor Snape's cloak straight off his shoulders and stepped out from behind the man. "You could have told her 'Mione that my clothes didn't change with me!" Harry was blushing a beet red.

Hermione seemed to have forgotten about that…now, even though Harry was covered neck to floor with Snape's cloak, she blushed and turned around. "SORRY HARRY! I FORGOT!"

Ron meanwhile was laughing at his friend's predicament. He was leaning heavily on Snape's desk trying in vain to stop the bubbling laughter from escaping his chest. He had ever seen Hermione so flustered at a naked head. Even McGonagall was blushing a tad. Malfoy was pale and muttering something about "having a disgusting naked lizard" in his jumper, then he yelled, "I held you! Urgh! My hands! Ugh!"

Harry looking very put out said in a small voice "I'm a clean lizard! Or I was a lizard"

Snape was looking livid. Harry took a few small steps back. "You heard." It wasn't a question. He knew that Harry had heard. Harry gave the smallest of nods. God where did the infamous courage go when he needed it?

"Um…I think I have to go now!" and so Harry ran out of the office, up some stairs, down a corridor, up some more stairs, down and trough a few more corridors, and into the common room. Up to his dormitory and into his trunk for some decent clothes. Flinging Snape's cloak against a far wall. He'd have to give it back…and say he was sorry for eavesdropping and pissing off one seriously demented Runespore.

Later that day, close to dinner in fact, Harry was finally pried from his four-poster. The whole day he was thinking of a way to apologize to Snape. Damn it! He never thought he'd have to apologize to that greasy git, However as soon as that resentful thought entered his head he immediately remember how Snape was afraid and upset. He would have died of embarrassment if Malfoy had seen him in such a state. So ridden with guilt he played exploding snap with Ron until dinner. Crookshanks was slinking along the wall, following some invisible prey, and Harry could think of no way to say he was sorry. Lucky for them the common room was empty except them, as most went to dinner already.

"Hey, um…Hermione?"

"Yeah Harry?"

"How I go about…Well. What should I do to…say…I'm sorry to Snape?"

"Sorry? Sorry for what?" Ron asked incredulously, "You were trapped in a lizard and nearly killed by his great dirty snake!"

"Ron! You know he didn't mean for Harry to get hurt! He didn't know!" Hermione with her usual "you know I'm right" tone spoke clearly to Ron. To which he grumbled about Hermione being Snape's "great defender" again.

"Well Harry, you could get him a gift."

At that moment Crookshanks came trotting up to Harry with a huge rat in his teeth, but unlike Hedwig's gifts of mice that were all dead, Crookshank's rat was alive. "Um…thanks Crookshanks."

"That's perfect Crookshanks! I'm sure Snape would love a rat for a gift!" Ron exclaimed slapping his knee and laughing gleefully.

"Ron you're a GENIUS! Professor Snape's Runespore must love Rats! Stupefy!" The rat that squirming in Crookshank's teeth became stiff as a board and was dropped by a now disgusted looking cat. With another wave of her wand a red ribbon tied itself into a bow around the rat's middle.

"Ugh! Hermione! It's gonna die now!" Ron's face was that of horror and disgust. "Poor little thing…" Ron took a deep shuddered breath and looked at Harry. "You're not seriously thinking of taking that to Snape right? What are you going to say? 'Gee I apologize professor. So I brought you this rat.' I can tell you now mate, he's going to murder you."

"Damn it, I have to get his cloak fixed too!" Harry hit is head on his open hand.

"WHAT? Oh yeah you ripped it straight off of him! I never thought you'd tear the clothes off his back mate!" Ron fell back laughing, hitting his head on the hard common room floor "OW!"

"Well serves you right. I forgot about his clothes ok! I didn't mean for that to happen Harry honestly!" said a slightly blushing Hermione.

"Yeah I know you didn't 'Mione…. Hey! I can ask dobby! He would glad to help me!" with that Harry jumped up and began to make his way to the stairs.

"Oh no Harry you can't! What about S.P.E.W? You have to fix it yourself!"

Turning around Harry leveled Hermione with an even stare. "Herm, I always give something to Dobby when he helps me! And I'm polite! There honestly isn't anything else he wants! Besides he likes helping! So I'm going down to the kitchens and asking him! Besides, I have another pair of socks he might like"

"Alright Harry, fine! If you want to continue with elvish slavery be my guest!" with that she turned and crossed her arms over her chest. Mean while Ron was looking irritated with the mention of 'spew'.

"Yeah, that's pretty self righteous of a lair!" he muttered

"Thanks Hermione!" said a grinning Harry and he ran up the stairs

"You know that's not what I meant!" she yelled after him, then turning to glare at Ron who was making a very good attempt at studying the burnt remains of a exploding snap card.

After leaving the common room with his invisibility cloak and Snape's in his arms, Harry made his way down to the kitchens. It was rather uneventful until he got to the kitchens. Tickling the pear he saw right away he wasn't the only one making a late night visit. Dumbledore was drinking a large glass of warm milk.

"AH! Thank you meepity! I'm sure that will help me off to bed" he said after he finished off the milk, Harry inwardly grimaced. Warm milk was horrid.

"I be my happiest to help Master Dumbledores!" said the small elf. She had a small pointed nose but her large bat like ears and large bright eyes were the same as many of the other house elves. Her toga bright and clean as she twisted it in her hands at the complement, her tiny feet seemed to taking to want to walk in place as well.

"You know meepity, I'm rather sure Professor Snape would like some as well. Why don't you send him a glass for me?" at this the elf pulled her ears down much like dobby would when he couldn't say or do something.

"OH Master Dumbledores! Master Snape says he do not likes your 'filthy nasty abomination' Oh" she said pulling her ear down over her eyes.

"Oh that's alright then meepity, I don't blame you!" and with a jaw cracking yawn he stretched and said "Oh well then I'm off to bed now. You know, one will find that a bit of firm persuasion and Severus is a rather nice man to talk to." Meepity on the other hand was looking at the headmaster as if he was mad. She? Talk to Snape? Not likely!

Harry had the distinct impression that the Head Master knew he was there. Then again just what he didn't know? Moving out of the way and near the fireplaces he waited until Dumbledore was out of sight before continuing his mission…and besides maybe he could use a cookie…or two.

((Ok I will have to say this took a bit longer than I thought. But never fear! The next bit is going to be tricky so give me a bit longer than what I posted the other chapters. I'm sure the next one is going to need a going through too… oh well! OH! And a gold star for Bree not Brie! She guessed the lizard that Harry turned into! And forgiveness please about the lack of formatting on the previous chapter…that took me forever! Grrrr. I shall endeavor to fix it.))


	6. Chapter 6!

Chapter 6!

Dobby couldn't be happier. His hats, piled atop his head fell as he dusted a top shelf where the golden plates were kept.

"Hey Dobby!" a voice he knew! It was his Master Harry Potter! Oh what could he be needing at this hour? Jumping down from his high place, he landed in front of Harry with a wide grin on his face.

"Master Harry Potter has come to visit Dobby! What be you wanting Master Harry Potter?"

"Um…ah…Hi Dobby. I have another pair of socks you might add to your collection!" the pulled out of his pants pocket a mismatched pair of socks. Having gotten holes in one of each pair, it made them really useless to Harry, unless of course he wanted one red sock and one black sock. The look of joy on Dobby's face was almost worth the trip to the kitchens.

"Master Harry Potter is too kind of lavish such gifts on Dobby!" and he immediately began to cry.

"Oh no Dobby! Look if it makes you feel any better I do need a favor!" what made dobby so un-comfortable to be around was how he went of adoration to tears in a breath. Dobby dried his tears on his soccer shorts he took a deep breath before saying.

"Yes! Dobby can do your favor! What do you need?" said a calmer house elf. Harry took out Professor Snape's outer robe. Up until he grabbed it in his dorm did he realize it wasn't a cloak….he really had taken the clothes off his back!

"Umm… I need this fixed. I kinda took it from Professor Snape today and I…ripped it." The slight blush on his face was because he had been naked in it. And he never noticed that Professor Snape wore cologne before. Yet another shard of the monster that was his teacher was falling away to show the human beneath. He broke out of his revere when Dobby snapped his fingers and made the Robe float in the air. Looking at it from all angles he saw that the sleeves were missing. Hmmm… that made it difficult.

"If Dobby could ask a favor Master Harry Potter? Asked a muffled house elf. He had jumped inside of the robe to see how the seems had been ripped.

"Uh…sure Dobby. What do you need?" asked a bemused Harry, what else could Dobby need?

"Dobby needs the sleeves Master Harry Potter! This Robe is charmed! It does not stain, catches fire or trip the wearer!" said Dobby from where the sleeve should be.

'So that's how he does it! It's charmed to flare away from him!' Harry thought with a grin! 'Damn it! I need the sleeves!'

In his private rooms, Severus fumed! Even at the late hour he couldn't sleep because of that damned _POTTER_! He felt stupid! He had done what he had told Albus that he refused to do! He exposed himself for another attack. A picture came to his mind of a wild dog baring its throat to his enemy, vanquished. "Damn it!" his brandy glass shattered against his "sitting Room" wall.

He looked down at the sleeves he had left of his favorite robe. He had paid a good deal to madam Malkin to make that robe! It was charmed and sewn to exactly what he needed! The pockets were deep and functional and he had to admit he felt impressive in it. He wasn't a bulking figure, he was slight, always had been. Now he would have to dip into his savings to buy a replacement. Despite his "Good name" his family wasn't one of wealth. His Father had made plenty sure that there wasn't going to be much of an inheritance when he died. He gambled worse than Bagman and seemed to drink worse than Hagrid. Severus shook himself from thoughts of is _father_. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the small clock on his mantel…nearly midnight. The emotions of the day were catching up to him, he felt exhausted now. Taking one last look at the sleeves he had left and thought about throwing them away, but a yawn made him lose track of what he wanted to do. He trudged to his cold bedroom, with its large empty four-poster and his old gray nightshirts that were probably eight years old now. A chill settled into his bones and he fell into yet another night of fitful at best, sleep.

Now he had to get sleeves! It really was more than fair, all he had to do is go into Professor Snape's rooms, find the sleeves and get the hell out of there, meanwhile Dobby would be fixing the seems and cleaning the robes. He knew Professor Snape had to of gone back to his rooms to change, no way he'd walk around with ripped sleeves. Ok flaw in plan! There he was standing in front of his door with absolutely no idea as to how to get in.

_POP!_

It was that elf Dumbledore was talking to! But why was she out side inside of popping inside? She happened to be holding a glass of (gag!) warm milk. Yuck, the stuff even smelled off. He backed away only enough so she didn't accidentally step on the cloak.

She couldn't believe she was taking the glass of milk Dumbledore had sent. But in the end she really couldn't refuse to take it. The worse Master Snape would do is send it back, but then that would mean she hadn't done a good job! Oh what to do! Tentatively she knocked on his door. Master Snape being as he was, didn't like house elves to pop into his rooms with out knocking.

Sleep! That's all he wanted! He pushed himself from his bed and tried to adjust his pillows, again. It was too cold, yes, that was the problem it was far too cold. Waving his wand a fire flashed into the grate. Sighing he fell on his side trying to sleep. Then a faint knock from the sitting room … it must be a house elf. Well maybe he could use something from the kitchens. Dinner had been like eating wood, and anymore scotch wasn't wise, the last thing he wanted was to wake up and teach with a hang over. Let this be the last time he ran out of hangover cures! Pulling himself up from his bed, he walked over to his chair near the fireplace and put on his night robe. The lights in the sitting room were set dim, as Diana didn't seem to like the dark very much. He walked towards the door and let the elf in, he didn't bother to shut the door, because who'd be daft enough to barge into his rooms, and at this time of night?

"Meepity has bringed you a glass of warm milk Master Snape!" said an overly bright Meepity.

Why is it always milk? "Thank you Meepity, but could you get me some tea instead? Oh and tell Albus thank you anyway." He hated it when house elves burst into tears…it was always so… heart wrenching.

"Yes, Master Snape! Rights away!" with that the elf scurried to the door throwing it wide and out of the room and popped back into the kitchens. This is when Harry made his move. He moved into the room and swept past Snape who some how looked shocked that the elf burned heel to get out of the room. Harry had stopped in front of Diana's tank and slowly began to slink near the couch. He spotted the sleeves on the coffee table! Yes! Score one! But then Snape had to plop down on said couch. Harry took a good long look at the man he had been hating for the past 6 years. He was tall, thin, but not really bony in the nasty way, skin that seems would be a darker shade if he wasn't always indoors or covered neck to toes in clothes, and a face that right now looked tired, a tad upset, and maybe just a little bit cold. Not really the fearsome, loathsome, sardonic, bane of Griffindors everywhere that he and Ron always seemed too able to pin blame on. Shaking himself to attention he stopped paying so much attention to his professor and on the task at hand.

The sleeves were tossed carelessly on the table; he noticed that some of the buttons were missing too. Would he even need the buttons? Damn another thing he should of asked. His professor just seemed to be lounging picking at non-existent lint. Then instead of continuing to sit on the couch picking at lint he ungracefully flopped on his back on his couch sighing, throwing an arm over his eyes. Taking that moment Harry quickly took up the sleeves.

"Why can't I ever have any luck?" said a dreary sounding Snape. The door bursting open again wit htea tray and elf, Harry thought ' I was thinking the same thing.'


End file.
